I hate when people say “I am obliged to do something even when I don’t want…”

One thing complicating and actually irritating taking over my mind for such a long time urges me to write to release all the negative feelings before they become kind of hatred towards someone, who actually do not deserve such hatred from me.

One sentence I hate listening from the grown-ups: We are obliged to do something even we don’t want….. or We have no other choices but ……..

What I mean here is not this sentence that put in a specific circumstance but the attitude that these grown-ups told when they wanna look like miserable or try finding excuse for things they dare not do.

What I mean here is not the obligation stipulated by law, or the obligation coming from the external forces.

I have a friend. She is somehow nice and hardworking. Her financial condition is not as favorable as the others, which makes her work so hard to earn money for her family. She works from 9 to 9 and spends her weekend tutoring to earn more money. Things, however, that make me annoying when she told that she is obliged to do this or kind of it is her life that forces her to work that hard (and actually she did not want to work like that). It makes me feel like she tries to be miserable and win the sympathy from other people. It makes me feel like she is the most miserable guy in the team . It makes me feel annoyed because if she could do something to help her family, it should make her happy rather than  become her burden. People may say that if I am not in her shoes, I do not have the right to judge her. However, when it comes to the condition matter, I mean the happiness or the misery of one life, it would be difficult to be measured exactly. No one can say if his or her suffering is much more unbearable than the other’s. We can never understand the sufferings that the others have been through and hardly can we do anything to change our sufferings by being miserable and winning the sympathy of other people. The only thing we can do is to be stronger, to feel satisfactory with what life brings us and to be happy. Instead of saying we are obliged to do something, why don’t we say we want our life to be that way, therefore, we have something to do with my life. I want my family to have a better life, therefore, I try my best to earn more money and it makes me happy. I want to be simply rich, therefore, I work harder and harder and I know I will get a lot of money in the end. All our efforts will count one day, therefore, instead of feeling obliged to earn money for family, feeling obliged to work harder, just think about the results awaiting us.

It sounds reasonable after all, doesn’t it?

Or I am talking like a mean girl or I am not old enough to understand such grown-ups’ stuff?

And if our life (at least my life) is filled with obligations, we (at least I) will feel damning bored sooner or later.

After all, I do believe (and I hope that I will keep this attitude after many ups and downs later on) it is still our choices that count.

 

 

 

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