Being judged! Being trained

As a white-collar worker, I have to get acquaintance with the term “performance appraisal” that conducted on an annual basis. Surprising enough, when you already thought that the tests and all kinds of grading have been over after graduating, you are get back to devour the taste of being graded again when you enter into typical multi-layered firms. Looking on the bright side, it is such an interesting idea to think that your hard work during the reviewed period will be assessed fairly and you may imagine the results would be announced, which should be the same exciting as the time you were waiting for mom coming back from the parent meeting with your teachers to get to know that you were among the excellent students of the class. It just sounds sweet to come back these days. However, when I grow up and realize that more and more students won that excellent title, I decided that excellence is not enough but the thing is where you are among this crowd of excellence. Coming back to the appraisal performance, when the so-so ratings that may guarantee you with a promotion at such entry level, you may tempt for something much much more special than a so-s0 one. As one motto of mine ” Once perform, outperform”, it should be the highest rating that may satisfy me. But then, so what? Looking on the dark side of performance appraisal, thing that annoy me the most is people keeping warning: “You are being judged!” When you refuse to get a task due to your current heavy workload, so congratulations, you are judged. When you make a mistake that is beyond your awareness due to your inexperience, congratulations, you are judged. Such minor mistakes may be recorded somewhere and you even do not have any idea about that. Though I do not know much about the real process of performance appraisal but hear through grapevine but such idea of being judged should be the thing that keeping annoying me. Another dark side of such appraisal is that you may run madly in the rat race for the short-term gratification without sparing a thought for your lifelong purpose. You try doing everything to satisfy everyone and not sparing a thought for yourself. You spend lots of time accomplishing the tasks but then you get tired and realize that you have not spent your time reading books or writing recently and forget time to develop yourself in your own way. By the way, of a related thought, I think about the “training” and “sharing” culture? I get inspired when people approach by using ind of “sharing” to help you narrow your gap of knowledge than “training”. A couple of weeks ago, on the taxi back to the Company from the client, I asked my in-charge why he told the client that he was 32 years old while in fact, he is two years old younger. He confidently said to me that: “You should have been trained about this as overstating your age may help you gain respect from client.” The thing is not the content delivered but the word “trained”. I should have been trained, should I? I hate people using the word “being trained” for I get disgusted at the idea of the animals that trained in the circus to  serve the client. Hey, I just want to be shared and as we are educated to live, not trained, please. To sum up for the post, thing that annoys me recently is the idea of “being judged” and “being trained” and I hope that it should not be the thing that the corporate world takes pride in. I just hope that the employees will be given enough room for them to develop their own personality and not be trained to be the top executives in such crazy ladders up to the highest position.

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