Maybe I have to leave some notes on this blog to make sure that I have not left this page starve for long.
This post is not an organized one (like a lot of posts in this blog). It just attempted to bring all the randomly fragmented thoughts in my mind recently.
I take a special liking to thinking. When I am alone, I think about everything, the relationships that bind them together, the common things shared among seemingly unrelated ones. I think when I commute to work, when I take a bath, when I do the housework. I hate that there exist no machine that helps people capturing all their streams of thoughts out directly when these thoughts are coming out naturally and my mind is always blank when I get down to writing.
I think that thinking is good. The practice of get your mind work every day should do more good than harm. Over-thinking, however, is not good. Thinking too much without actions taken accordingly only makes yourself stagnant and screw your minds with all the circling thoughts.
I thought a lot about my steps after university and I rarely take actions towards any goals that I set out. This year turns out to be a bland one with few goals in my resolution list crossed out.
Then, I decided to take actions. Even these actions are small but I do feel I am getting to my goals closer.
I registered for Chinese class in August and took the Chinese exam in November.
I started learning CFA.
As mentioned in the resolution list for 2013, I wrote about taking exam for CFA level 1 in December 2014, however, due to my insufficient saving, I have delayed this plan until June 2015. Such 6-month delay in application for the examination turns out to be another test to my determination to pursue this designation. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth my time spending long hours learning such huge amount of knowledge while at the same time it may be interesting to wander around my favorite street corners and reading all the books in my bucket lists. I wonder if it is worth all my saving going through this journey while I may expend this amount of money spending on traveling or doing something else. I have found loads of information to find the answers myself, including checking some pieces of advice available in the Internet and seeking for the insights from ones who have been through one or a couple of levels in this designation and the more I ask the other people, the more I feel confused. I finally decide to rationalize the pursuit of CFA myself based on my own perspective. When people found reasons to pursue this designation, they put much emphasis on their intention to develop themselves in sort of careers in investment or finance and some of my friends also make it highlighted to me that the journey I am about to embark on is by no means an easy one and without a strong motivation of working in this industry, it would be a waste of time, effort and money (of course). However, when I think about my desire to understand financial industry in a systematical way, my willing to undergo another study-related challenge after university and even the uncertainty of the future, inclusive of any new opportunities opening upon such embarkation, I summon all of my courage and savings (the fundamental oneJ) and embrace this challenge. The very first learning sessions somehow proves my choice to be an enjoyable one. I do enjoy the feeling of reveling in something totally new, the idea of being enlightened and the idea of having some goals to reach for in 2015. Though it makes me shivering at the thought of heavy workloads awaiting in the upcoming peak season, I try taking my good times as much as possible with this enjoyable learning experience.
I have just mentioned the act of rationalizing. I always try rationalizing every action I take every day. I want to make it clear that such action of rationalizing is not the practice of making excuse for the absurd or insane thoughts. I always think that everything happens for a reason and every action should be taken by choice rather than by order of other forces than our own rational minds. To be always of rationality, in my perspective, is by no means an easy task but taking into account the irrational factors in decision making makes such process a rational one.
Maybe I will incorporate the irrational behaviors of mine to set out a more reasonable resolution list for the upcoming year. It will surely make room for irrational thoughts and unreasonably impulsive moments to take place.