It is unusual for me to start writing the first post of the year that late. Normally, I will kick off writing for right at the first week of the year, not waiting until the last week of January. Actually, I do attempt to write a post about my 8-day trip around three provinces in the South Central Vietnam and the Highlands of Vietnam. These 8 days without bearing any sight of working papers or reports somehow did a good therapy to my stressful body. During that 8-day trip, accompanied by a friend of mine, I did have some moments on my own to think. I thought about my future, thought about saving for the next trip, thought about how it is like to live in other places than the places I live now. I think a lot to an extent that I supposed I would write a short novel after the trip. I managed to ramble some lines in relation to the trip but felt bored immediately and decided to have it suspended for an indefinite “while”. After the trip, I came back to my daily busy schedule. I tried my best to study for GMAT but still found myself in the middle of nowhere. I realized how time has passed since I received my result for the first level of CFA and felt a little bit moody for not taking the examination for Level 2 this June. Looking back at 2015, I realized I have accomplished a few goals: Pass the first level of CFA, get promoted to senior, travel to three new places, one of which is located abroad and start my reading habit in a more serious manner. I, however, failed twice at TOCFL; IELTS result is not exceptionally good; I had fewer time for friends and I found it more difficult to be energized at work or to feel gratified at work as I used to be one year ago. Some of my favorite colleagues left the firm, I found it more difficult to communicate at work and I often found myself keeping silent during almost every event, either formal or informal, of the Company. And I do feel scared at the idea of being spiritually dead at the age of 25 in the office, which may be the main cause to such uneasy state of mine.
Lunar New Year’s Eve is around the corner, which means that I have another 10 days off work to get my body and mind relaxed for a while. Tet is not my favorite holiday caused I do not really like all the preparation for Tet Holiday (I prefer to do thing on a frequent basis rather than to be rushed to prepare for a holiday in such an exhaustive manner). But Tet is really a special time in the year. It is special for that it takes place on an annual basis, it is accompanied by routinely traditional procedure and it is long enough to leave you with strong impression that you are getting older and older by each Tet holiday passing by. Hardly could I believe that it has been 10 years since 2006. Hardly could I believe that 10 years ago I was still a secondary schoolgirl who fought for her examination into her dream high school. Why 2006? 2006 was the year when I started high school. It was also the year when I really had some ideas about what to do with my own life. I started to have my own bucket list, dreaming about my dream high school, my dream university, my dream country to study abroad, my dream relationship and some ideas about the ideal career path. After 10 years, I figured out that I have not crossed out lots of items in my bucket list. I have not realized my desire of studying abroad, have not set my foot on Ukraine, and have not got any boyfriend (What the heck I was thinking about at that time). However, I passed the entrance examination to one of my favorite high schools, passed the entrance examination to university, and got a stable job. But unlike that 14-year-old girl dreaming of a settled life with good salary and decent husband, the 24-year-old girl of mine is scared of being settled before other dreams realized. I feel uncomfortable when my acquaintances said something like you graduated from university, you got a good job already and now it is time to be settled. And I do feel disappointed when people who know me very well start to say that it is time for me to be settled. I hate that everything to be clearly figured out at such young an age. The uncertain future may be annoying sometimes but the certain one is definitely more frightening.
I watched this TedX video on YouTube and found the speaker’s ideas striking a chord with mine. It is about the quarter-life crisis and how the speaker resists settling at 28 years old. It may sound a self-help but for the ones who are about to enter their 24 or 25, it is worth listening once.
Another year of blogging has already on the way and I already start off working on some plans of mine. Hope this year will be another good year of mine.