Dear juniors, sophomores, and freshmen, please portray your seniors as…

Dear juniors, sophomores, and freshmen,

I am writing this note in a cool and rainy day. This cool weather after the rain is always my favorite one as every time the heavy rain comes by and goes, I always feel calmer and relaxed. I have just finished my internship, refused to get back to my previous workplace and a little bit busy with the recruitment round for a student-run organization I have participated for a year.

Do you know what prompts me to write this post?

Few days ago, while browsing Facebook, I happened to see a photo album of Hanoikids, in which each alumnus is spared with a photo and a caption that describes her achievements or what she did already in this organization. Everything is alright except for a sentence that “she is working in VinGroup” and the uploader, seeming to be afraid that anyone who doesn’t know about VinGroup, added a hyphen that is followed by kind of title “one of the biggest “economic” corporations in Vietnam”. A sudden thought just popped out of my mind, should a title matter so much with the young members of an organization when they looked at their seniors?

I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight

~ Rabindranath Tagore~

Do you know what makes me kind of afraid when coming back to the club, where I used to be a part? It is such an uneasy feeling when I was asked by the junior or sophomore students about my current occupation. “Where do you work now?” or “How about you already?” are common questions that I received from other young members in the club. I think it is quite a normal question as I used to ask my seniors when I was at my second or third year students. I just answered: “Well, I am doing an internship in IDG Ventures but I am also actively seeking for another position in the future.” I can see a little bit disappointment in their eyes. They may expect for other things like kind of dashing positions in a large multinational company and my answer does not make them feel satisfied. In some occasions like welcome party for the freshmen into the club, they remain a tradition of making a slide presentation about their seniors by adding a photo on slide, a long list of achievements he or she has obtained during university like prizes, awards, etc. and just few words of describing his or her dream, his or her characteristics, or other aspects which I do thing worth mentioning than these above boring list. I remembered being characterized to be member of other organizations or thingy like this when being introduced in this opening session, I just feel confused and hope that it would be better if they ask me about what I love doing or what I believe in. I do not want to be portrayed with long lists of nonsense stuff like the organizations I have participated in or what company I am working for. We have worked with each other for such a long time and I do hope to being portrayed in a more lively way. Though I have not achieved such dazzling awards or prizes like other students but I am glad that I have lived to my fullest during university and I do hope not to be measured by such kind of metrics.

Success builds character, failure reveals it.

~ Dave Checkett ~

In this part, I think I write to me. Sometimes I just think that I am over thinking about people’s reaction to everything of mine. Maybe the disappointment I felt in the eyes of the younger members in my club is not right at all. It may be due to my obsession with success or failure that makes feel that way.

Well success builds character, failure reveals it. Have I never seen myself with many shortcomings in my characters right now? A little bit scared, a little bit mean, a little bit jealous, a little bit uneasy, a little bit bad temper, a little bit cynical… Normally, these characters hide somewhere deep inside but it was in the midst of crisis that it is manifested in such an apparent way. There is no bad characteristic that exists, in my opinion, it is just when this characteristic is presented in such an extreme way, stepping over the line dividing between balanced and extreme that makes this characteristic annoying.

We all bad fortune tellers of our future

Today when I chatted with my friend on Skype, I just said that what I want to do now is take a short relax after 2 years working like a crazy and workaholic girl with barely any holiday lasting for more than 2 days and sparing less than 5 hours per day for sleeping on average. One of my friends told me that I work hard but not smart. At that time, I felt a little bit disappointed but now on looking back, I thought he is right to a certain extent. I am just kind of mediocre, not good enough to leap over the fence but not bad enough (or smart enough) to realize what fence for me? But should it matter now to think about you work hard or smart? One anonymous friend “You Met Me Previously” has said to me that “We all bad fortune tellers of our future”, telling me not to give up, not to over think, get back to my fundamentals and get back on the journey towards future.

You, my dear younger members of the club will come through these painstaking days like me in the next 1 year, 2 years or 3 years. You will see that it is not easy to get through these days. I do not know what I would do if I had chances coming back to the past. Perhaps it is no point discussing it. Things that deserve my focus now should be the present.

Dear juniors, sophomores, and freshmen, you may have finished another unreasonable post of mine. As ideas popped out randomly and I do not mind arranging it in a coherent way, it would be quite difficult to follow but I think you may have more ideas about how life is going on for a fresh graduate. I hope that next time we meet each other, we could open more to each other and I do not want to be portrayed with nonsense list of achievements but with your feelings about working with me.

Best regards

Fragriver

P/S: A sudden thought runs across my mind. Does the way I am portrayed by others matter? Should it be a matter? Or do I have any reason to care?